What We Talk About in This Episode

In episode 13 of The Joyful Health Show, Kasey and Aubrey interview Jeff Ash, host of the the Men’s Intuition podcast. Jeff talks about how to talk to your partner about intuitive eating in a way that builds connection, support, and helps you explain how this is different than another diet. Jeff shares how men think differently about intuitive eating, and practical steps to begin that conversation with your partner.

In this episode we discuss:

• How to set healthy boundaries within the home instead of barriers for your partner when starting intuitive eating

• The key points to remember when explaining intuitive eating

• How to talk specifically to men about the benefits of intuitive eating, and how you can support one another

Connect with Jeff on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/intuitive.eating.men.

Find Jeff at his website hopedrivesme.com.

Resources for Episode 13

1. Listen to Jeff’s podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mens-intuition/id1604076924

2. Connect with Jeff for a free individual or family consult at his website: hopedrivesme.com

3. Grab our Scripture cards to print out and display around your home here.

Guest Bio

Jeff Ash

Jeff is a Christ-follower, husband, father of 2 adult daughters, dog lover, Nutritionist, Intuitive Eating Coach, Personal Trainer, and host of the Men's Intuition Podcast where he seeks to teach and encourage other men (and women too) on their own Intuitive Eating journeys. His passion lies in helping individuals and families transform their relationships with food and body all without restriction, guilt, or shame.

You can connect with Jeff here:

Instagram: @intuitive.eating.men

Website: https://hopedrivesme.com

Episode Transcription

Introduction

Hi and welcome to this week's episode of The Joyful Health Show. We have the honor of having Jeff Ash here. He is going to talk to us about how we can talk with our partners about intuitive eating. Maybe if they've never heard of it, they're not on board. How can we approach that conversation? And we're so excited to talk to Jeff. Welcome, Jeff. 

Jeff Ash

Thanks. I'm really excited to be here. 

Kasey

Yeah. Okay, everyone. So this is our first male on the podcast. So this is a really big deal. So we're super excited to have you, Jeff. And if you haven't listened to Jeff on his podcast, he is a Christ follower, has been a father of two adult daughters, a dog lover. He's a nutritionist and an intuitive eating coach. He's a personal trainer and host of the Men's Intuition Podcast where he seeks to teach and encourage other men and women on their own intuitive eating journey. His passion lies in helping individuals and families transform their relationships with food and body, all without restriction, guilt or shame.

So, Jeff, this is exactly what we all need. Can you tell us a little bit about your story? Give us a little bit of background about how you arrived at the place that you are with this topic, maybe what was your struggle and how did that struggle lead you towards this as a career?

Bodybuilder to Intuitive Eating Coach for Men

00:01:37:14 - 00:01:59:23

Jeff

Yeah, it's a good question. I started out with the typical fitness mindset that the culture promotes. I mean, I was raised by a very loving father and mother. My dad was a pastor and just poured himself into his flock. And so that was the model that I had growing up. I never had any pressure around food. I think my parents did, you know, like a Nutrisystem thing here and there, but dieting was not a big part of it. So I very much grew up as somewhat of an intuitive eater myself without really realizing it. And later on, I got into the fitness world, the bodybuilding side of things, and going down that road of optimizing performance and nutrition myself.

And that's how I got really interested in pursuing that to help other people And and so through that process, then I took the typical fitness approach. And I, I do think I took a bit more of a gentle approach to it because I was never one of these in-your-face kind of, you know, go big or go home kinds of people.

And I always took a very individualized approach depending on what the person needed. But it was still very fat loss body composition oriented. And so I really got interested in family nutrition and because I used to be a children's pastor myself. And so I've always loved working with kids and with families and thought it would be fantastic to work with entire families, not just individuals, to help them kind of come together and build those healthy habits and behaviors.

And as I started looking more into the child and teen nutrition with the work of Ellen Satter, which you both are maybe familiar with and the weight neutral approaches there, I started to realize that it's funny, even the most hardcore fitness people say, Oh, we should never put kids on diets. You know, some people do, but a lot of them are like, no, no, no, you never want to put kids or teens on diets.

But yet for some reason at 18, it's cool to put everybody on a diet. And, and so that just started to really get me to rethink the whole idea. And then as I spent more time in that weight neutral community, then it really opened my eyes to the intuitive eating approach. And I went, I've completely shifted over the last few years to a completely weight neutral intuitive eating approach in my coaching.

And it's so much more fulfilling. It allows me to touch on those deeper issues when I get to work with Christian clients, because I don't just work as Christians, but non-Christians as well. I can bring in that spiritual aspect as well to it, which ties in so nicely with the intuitive eating framework. And so so that's kind of how I got to where I am today.

How Do I Explain Intuitive Eating to my Partner?

00:04:24:22 - 00:04:50:16

Aubrey

Oh, man. Yeah, I. I love that. It's just so interesting how we would treat children one way in sort of a loving way. We instinctively know how to care for them, but then when it comes to ourselves or as adults, we kind of lose that. And I think there's a lot of things we would do well to see. How would we treat a child and how can we use that to treat ourselves in a similar way. So it's a really awesome and interesting part of your story. Jeff I know especially since you work with families, this is going to be a great topic to talk to you about. So we really wanted to talk about how to talk to our partners because we experience so many of our course participants and clients, them getting really gung ho about intuitive eating, really excited about what they're learning and experiencing, but then having a hard time communicating that with their partners and getting them on board. Do you see this in your work? 

00:06:02:15 - 00:06:25:22

Jeff

Yeah, definitely. And it's unfortunate. And I think, you know, one the yeah, I kind of saw this interesting parallel as I was thinking through this topic. And because, you know, if you become a Christian and you're married and maybe you weren't, or one of you becomes a believer in that marriage and you're excited and you're trying to share this with your partner and they just aren't getting it.

And it's that kind of thing. Yeah, I see that similar kind of parallel. It's so foreign. You know, the Bible talks about the gospel being foolishness to to those who don't believe. And intuitive eating in a lot of ways seems like foolishness to people who have been so bombarded with the message of dieting. And that's so ingrained in our culture, in our society.

And so it can take a lot of work to unpack that and and help people to see the issue with that and why it is that it was such a big deal to begin with.

How Do You Keep Healthy Boundaries with Intuitive Eating at Home?

00:06:45:06 - 00:07:26:24

Kasey

Mm hmm. Right. And I can think of a few very specific questions and scenarios that our clients have had and that I've had as well. And I think we can a lot of times take different approaches, but especially in the time when that person is really excited about intuitive eating, but they're also feeling very vulnerable as far as exposure to diet culture. What happens when that diet culture is strongest in your own home, when your partner is weighing all of their food or counting all the calories and you're seeing that where they're stepping on the scale and they're excited about the weight loss or, you know, and they're immersed in that, how can they kind of guard their heart while also loving their partner in a way that that this eating thing is not getting in the way? So that it’s not a barrier. And I think especially like the difference between intuitive eating and intuitive eating under submission of the Lord and love coming first. How does that kind of look when people are first starting intuitive eating in their home?

00:07:26:24 - 00:07:41:09

Jeff

Yeah, I mean, it's again, it's that newness that can be very frustrating with anything, you know, when you're getting an opposing view in something that you're trying to do. And, and that just makes it really challenging to to fight off those those issues that you yourself have been struggling with. And at the same time, you know, not pushing that other person away.

So it can be really difficult to navigate that. And so really, it's a matter of open communication. And one of the points that I thought was really important to make in this whole conversation is being patient with your spouse or your family members. You know, if it's a you know, if you're someone and there's other family members in the house that are doing it because just like with anything new, it's going to take some time.

And so, you know, I don't think most of us came to intuitive eating just the first time we heard it. It was like, oh, yeah, that's it. Cool and all and completely on board. All ten principles locked in, ready to go. It was a process, and often it's a process, a long process of undoing that diet culture mentality.

And so I think that that's one of the key things is to to it's hard as it may be because, you know, because you're, you're now dealing with your own emotions and, and that kind of thing and, and struggles in trying to stick to this new way of thinking about food is that we do have to extend that grace in that patients to that that person who may not really understand it just yet.

How to Set Intuitive Eating Boundaries in a Loving Way with Your Partner

00:09:18:21 - 00:09:44:18

Aubrey

Mm hmm. Yeah. And I, I think about how you compared it to being a new believer in a, in a marriage where maybe your spouse isn't a believer yet. And how in that example, we just have to live our life and live by example and pray that are the fruit of our life. Will attract our spouse to the gospel. I think there's a verse that talks about not being won over with words, but to be won over with your good deeds there with your life. And I can see that working out very similarly with intuitive eating. So there's part of that, that patience of being patient with our spouse and there's part of owning what's ours and letting them own what's theirs. Can you talk about sort of what those boundaries are with intuitive eating and how you can set those in place in a loving way with your partner? 

00:10:42:21 - 00:11:00:12

Jeff

Yeah, well, I think that that's another good point there, too, about boundaries. I think that's another important point that we need to make with all of this is that, you know, for many people coming to intuitive eating is bordering on or it may even actually be a lifesaving kind of a thing.

They may be coming out of an eating disorder or in the midst of one and intuitive eating of the way that they're getting out of that eating disorder. There could be. And it's going to vary from person to person. You know, some people, it's just they're tired of dieting. And this is finally is a way that's clicked for them.

So there's this whole spectrum. And so I think it's important that for you as an individual, you figure out what boundaries are, dealbreakers, what boundaries, you know, where you can compromise. And I think that that's something to just, you know, with a lot of areas in marriage. And so for someone who may be coming out of an eating disorder, it may be that you really do have to put a strong foot down and say, I can't watch you weigh your food.

It's just please, please do that somewhere else if you're going to insist on doing that. To make it very clear where those boundaries are. And so, you know, and that kind of going further into boundaries, it's how do you want them to hold you accountable and if you want them to hold you accountable, those kinds of things, I think I may be getting off track of that as far as the question you asked now.

Strategies to Bring Up Intuitive Eating in a Gracious Way

00:11:56:12 - 00:12:27:12

Kasey

I feel like this whole topic reminds me of Romans 14 where you know as for the one who's new in faith welcome him but not to quarrel over opinions and it's you know talking about eating and it's and it says in verse four who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another and it's before his own master that he stands or falls and he will be upheld for the Lord as able to make him stand.

So I think sometimes we have to be careful to like thinking that we're superior in our advanced progressive learning when it comes intuitive eating and instead see the Lord humbling me through this growing experience. And how can I honor my partner and this I can see where they are. They are living up to their own convictions.

They are responsible and accountable to the Lord, as am I. And so how can we do that together in a way that builds up the body and love? And so that's not a way like it's not a divisive way. And so to be able to have those convictions and those boundaries and to also be free in the Lord, because I think intuitive eating gives us that freedom and that flexibility to like well, you know, I used to not be able to eat certain things.

I used to have the food rules around myself. And now I can be free to eat what I want in front of my brother or sister in Christ or to abstain for the sake of love. And so I think that's a beautiful freedom that we have with intuitive eating and I know you talked about boundaries as far as like how to talk to your partner about intuitive eating.

And I think a lot of our participants in the course also like, I haven't even talked to my partner about that. I'm even doing this course but I don't know what even to say. Yeah, it's not like, oh, I'm doing the keto. It's like there's not that much language or framework around it except for it while I'm trying this new thing or, you know, I really didn't feel good when I was eating this way.

And so now I'm trying to, you know, eat when I'm like feel hungry and see what it feels like to, to stop and I'm satisfied or maybe what are some other ways that, that we can talk to our spouse in a way that feels and I guess sometimes you know, a lot of it's like going by the Spirit and seeing those open doors and opportunities.

But do you have any ways that people can bring this up to you with their partner? Or when it comes to this new way of eating? 

00:14:52:14 - 00:15:08:06

Jeff

Yeah, and that's a good point. And I think this one actually probably comes before you start setting boundaries because you have to educate them a little bit before you can set boundaries, because otherwise they won't understand what the boundary is for if they don't understand kind of what it is that you're doing. If you just say, Hey, don't weigh your food in front of me. And that's all they know and all they know is okay, She started this new crazy, intuitive eating thing that I heard is just eat whatever you want and eat all the donuts and they don't understand it. And then now they're just telling me not to weigh my food.

And so I think that it's important that we at least for us and not to stereotype us guys, but sometimes just the way that our minds think. I think it's good to kind of build up and help us to understand. First to education the why behind it. And then we can then better understand why the boundary is important to you.

And so you know, I think educate, but try and focus on the low hanging fruit, I think is a good place to start. So it's you know, it's really easy with anything to get sidetracked in the minutia and you know, even just thinking about how we share our faith and how we can easily get pulled away from kind of the straightforward message of the gospel.

And so we're arguing about political affiliations and positions and gun ownership and vaccines and mask mandates and homeschooling and all of this stuff. And we're talking to maybe our non-Christian friend and we're trying to share the gospel and we end up talking about all these other things that are there. It's not that they're unrelated, but they have nothing to do with the gospel message itself.

They're like much later things to discuss down the road. And so I think we can do the same thing with intuitive eating, too, so that we can get focused on the minutia instead of helping them to understand the big picture concepts. So I think that would be my advice would be to start off with the big picture things.

Hey, what's this intuitive eating about? It's all about eating donuts and eating whatever you want. Oh, no, no, that's not at all what it is. It's helping me tune into the signals that God has designed into my body. And so. And what are those? Hunger and fullness. And I think most people can understand the concept of hunger and fullness at least to an extent.

And so if we start there, then they can say, okay, so it's eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full. And it's like, well, sort of, but that, you know, at least they get that general idea, and then you can build on satisfaction and explain why it's important and, and how that you know, over time you can kind of explain how when you don't have that satisfying donut here and there or pizza here and there that it makes you end up craving those things more.

And so you can start to educate at that level again, focusing on those big picture things. And, you know, depending on the person who you're talking to and where you're coming from, I think that there's going to be maybe a different way that you approach it. So with one person, if you know your spouse really well, then you may know what things will help shift their mindset in their way of thinking on things.

And so you could focus on those and you whether it's starting off with movement gentle nutrition, you know, you might even to your partner, you might even emphasize the gentle nutrition, even though you're trying to de-emphasize it yourself, but say, hey, that's that's an aspect of this, too. It's not just, you know, we don't just toss that out.

And there may be different ways that you can bring in the different principles. And it's I think for me, it's more to be intentional about what you're trying to do, just like to be strategic about it. And I think that can be a really helpful way to do it. But focusing on those ten principles in general in some way is going to be a good, good place to start with the education of it.

How to Talk to the Man in Your Life about Intuitive Eating

00:18:24:08 - 00:18:50:03

Aubrey

Mm hmm. Yes. Um, I think if you haven't already read that, we should just say that if you haven't already read the intuitive eating book by Evelyn and they go through the Ten Principles, I think that's a really good place to start. Maybe when you're first starting out with intuitive eating so you can know the full picture because a lot of us come to it with the mindset of what Jeff's already kind of alluded to.

Oh, just eat all the donuts all the time or eat whatever you want, whenever. And there's really a lot more to that and the different principles, different people depending on what they're struggling with or where they're at in their relationship with food and body and so I think that's a wonderful way to approach it.

I know for myself, if someone were to say just never weigh yourself, let go, you know, I’d be overweight. From the very beginning with me when I first read about intuitive eating, I probably would have just been like, you're crazy. But learning about health benefits, all of this is how God designed our bodies to work and really made sense to me.

And then as I started practicing it and getting into it, my eyes were open to the bigger picture of health at every size weight. The weight neutral approach. So I love that. I just can't resist asking you this because you are the only male we've had on the topic so far. Do you see, like any differences and, and communicating to guys, you know, you already mentioned like and we want to be educated. Are there any ways that guys receive this message differently and or different motivations they might have in this area than women?  I don't even know what to ask because I feel like yes, brains do work with your perspective mine. 

00:20:35:00 - 00:20:55:23

Jeff

Yeah. Well, you know, a one point I do want to make too is before I answer your question is sometimes our spouse is not the best one to get us to change our mind on something.

And that's something I think that we need to understand to, you know, so many times it's you know, your spouse may be saying something to you over and over again. And then in your women's Bible study group, your men's group is suddenly like, oh, my gosh, this light bulb moment. And you go home and you share it. And they're like, I've been telling you this for six months or five years, whatever the case is.

So keep that in mind too throughout this conversation. But yeah, when it comes to to the men and women, I guess some of the approaches that I see is in my work with men versus my work with women, because I work with men and women. And sometimes the approach that I'll take is I'm talking about intuitive eating because very few of them come to me saying, Oh, I want you to teach me intuitive eating.

They come to me, Oh, can you help me lose weight? And I say, Well, here's the approach that I take. And I don't do that intentional weight loss. And often they're very confused by that. And so I take this approach to help them understand that. And so with the guys I do tend to focus on the concrete things a lot more, less about the feelings and emotions of it.

Because I think that has seemed to go over well in convincing them to give it a try. Whereas with the women, it's usually and again, it just depends on the woman because some women respond really well that way. I've had women who they want me to send them research papers and, and they're very much in that sort of mindset.

But, but again, with the women there, there may be the emotional aspect of, of tuning in more to what they have been through as far as stigmatization and weight bias and maybe even trauma and those kinds of things that they've dealt with that men in general don't deal with as much. Now that to say that they don't at all because ours comes in a different way.

But, you know, women tend to get the emphasis on being thin and where men get the emphasis on being leaner, muscular and that kind of thing. And so it's not that it doesn't exist, but it's different. And so that would be the main difference in the way that I approach it is that sometimes the guys don't respond as much to how it's making you feel kind of thing.

Their feelings are often more frustrated. And I'm tired of doing it this way. And later down the line, we often uncover things that are the same things in men and women because I think it ultimately goes back to many of those same things at the root. But yeah. So that would be the general approach, I guess. 

What are the Benefits of Intuitive Eating for Men?

00:23:34:12 - 00:24:04:05

Kasey

Since men are focused on more of that strong aesthetic, what are the concrete things that you say then about the benefits of intuitive eating? 

Jeff

Yeah, well, and that's a good point because I use intuitive eating myself and I consider myself fairly serious about my training. I do that Ninja Warrior training and heavy lifting and those kinds of things, and I'm serious ish about it in the sense that I want to improve in that area.

So it takes some additional dedication over and above just general health and so when I do have guys coming in and if they have similar goals, kind of take the focus of being like fixated on it and but point out that, hey, you know, what's what's the number one thing that you need to be concerned with if you're trying to build strength, well, you need to eat enough.

And so it's it's very easy to say, well, so intuitive eating really does start with this foundation of making sure you're getting enough for yourself and, you know, and so if you can tune into those hunger and fullness signals that will make sure that you're getting enough, and then that's going to help fuel whatever physical activity or training if they're more into training.

Because I've had a number of people come from some other fitness groups that we're focused on like powerlifting and those kinds of things. And so from that perspective, you can really focus on the eating enough part. 

Aubrey

Yeah. Yeah, that's I would say that's exactly where I would go to just because knowing that working with athletes in the past and working with men with very similar goals to gain strength and, you know, and it's always like, are you eating enough?

And there's another really interesting thing which I don't know if you talk about, but like testosterone levels in men are actually chronically low and a lot of men who overwork. Do you  talk with your male clients about that at all? 

Jeff

Yeah, no, that's a good point because any time that you can find something that will elicit that kind of response in the person, if they are experiencing low t, then immediately that will perk up their ears.

And I try to get this information on their initial consultation, the forms that they fill out. And so that can help me to gauge, okay. They mentioned that they've got low t issues. So now I can talk about sleep and I can talk about training too much, but I can also talk about the benefits of and kind of be on board with, you know, hey, yeah, that heavy lifting you're doing, that's really beneficial for that.

That's going to help with that. But, you know, getting enough sleep feeding yourself well making sure that you are getting enough fat and, and carbohydrate and protein and these different things and just focusing on the what they can put in rather than take out, which is what so much of dieting is about is, you know, cut this food out, cut that out.

But reducing stress and all of those different things and then going into, hey, is it stressful when you have to cut out all the things that you enjoy? Well, yeah, it is. And so again, focusing on those things can be really helpful. 

A New Kind of Honey-Do List for Intuitive Eating

Kasey

Yeah. And I think of a lot of these things, like you're saying, eventually you get to the root and the heart of where someone's purpose lies.

And I always think of, let's see, Proverbs 20, verse five, in the purpose of a man's heart is like deep water, but one of understanding can draw it out and so I think a lot of times, you know, to be able to look at your partner and you know, if you know that you're probably the one who knows them the most intimately.

And so you probably know those deeper desires. But being able to ask thoughtful questions of like, oh, like tell me why, you know, tell me why you're engaging these behaviors, like getting X amount of protein or Oh, and now I'm buying protein at the grocery store, I have to buy cereal with protein and milk with protein and like everything with protein so you can meet these goals.

Well, what really are those greater goals that you have is maybe like how can we ask our partner some of those more spiritual questions, maybe not just spiritual, but I mean, under the heart of everything, there's you know, a spiritual source of everything. So instead of, I guess like, you know, pointing out their behaviors and saying, well, intuitive eating is actually better if you do it this way, how can we talk to our partner in a way that's gentle that will draw them out?

00:28:26:09 - 00:28:51:14

Jeff

Yeah, I think it's you know, it's focusing on the benefits that that's bringing you I think that can be really helpful. So, you know, if you're talking about how it's helping you to be able to navigate like having sweets in the house better. Talking about some of the ways that it's changed you that it's helped you to grow and, you know, bringing in the things that, you know, will help trigger that that positive response in your spouse. So maybe it's a spiritual growth aspect. So maybe you have a very strong believer who's your husband.

And if you can emphasize those spiritual aspects of growth over and above the physical that might trigger a more positive response in them, too, and help them to get on board more. Those are just some examples there. And yeah, I think any time that you can figure out what is going to trigger that thought or that response and the other person, that's going to be a really helpful thing to do.

00:29:41:01 - 00:30:09:04

Aubrey

Hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. And, you know, our goal isn't necessarily always to make our spouse an intuitive eater, but to have peace, right? So where we're supporting each other and like you said, like sharing the benefits and, and the positive impact it's had on your life, I think will just help your spouse to see, oh, this is really, you know, this is important to him or her and it's helping them.

And how can I support you even if, you know, even if on this side may have a slightly different approach to how I move my body. And we just want to get to that place supporting each other and a lot of open communication. It sounds like a lot of patience, open communication. Not that no judgment but just like sharing. Sharing our testimony. Yeah. You know, what's happening in our life. 

Jeff

If you can give us some specific things that to do, it can be really helpful. It helps us to have to feel like we're a part of it, because a lot of us guys are going to be really supportive of our of our wives if we know they're trying to do something to really change their life, even if we don't understand it.

And we really do want to help support that and so, again, having some of those specific, you know, don't do this, don't do that, that's that's part of it. But the does can be really helpful. We like to solve problems. I know myself, if my wife is having a problem, I like to try and solve it. And I have to sometimes resist the temptation to try and solve it.

But if you can give me something that I can do, then that can be really helpful. And it could even be something as simple as, hey, can you look for this specific kind of food? That would be great to add to our dinner each week and just give us a task to do. And I think that that can kind of help get us on board with it. Even if we're not quite at the place of understanding everything yet. 

Kasey

Yeah. So a different kind of honey-do list. Like, can you please pray for me about this when I see this advertisement, you know? Yeah, something like that. So just this conversation has been really helpful. I think we've talked about what to release. And for women especially, we need to release control over what our partner is going to think or believe and to be able to, you know, because self-control, it's self-control.

We can only control ourselves and then we can love and promote peace with the spirit, with our partner and so how can we share that joy? Because that's what joyful health is all about. It's like if we love something, we're going to share it. And if we're enjoying food and movement, like we're going to share it we're going to invite whoever's close to us.

And on that, like, I'm going to go on a walk, not a run today. You want to join me, you know, that kind of thing. And then we've talked about a lot of practical ways of how to talk to our partner. And I think ultimately, you know, it's going to be up to the spirit and asking him to guide us in that we worship in spirit and truth like the woman at the well.

She's like, do we worship on this mountain or at that mountain? It's like, well, in Spirit and in truth. Yeah. So are there any last tips or thoughts that you would like to share with our listeners before we close out? 

00:33:44:24 - 00:34:16:02

Jeff

Yeah. I mean, one of the things I really was excited about in having this conversation is being able to bring in the spiritual aspect of it.

And so I think one of the other really important points that I was going to make is, you know, to kind of summarize, we talked about being patient and then also helping to educate them, sticking to those big picture items at least at first, and then setting those boundaries making it really clear what what would be helpful for you, where they can offer insight and advice and where you'd rather that they not where they just like to stay out of it for right now, but then finally pray for them and ask them to pray for you.

Also, I think that can be a really helpful, helpful thing especially when you have both when both spouses are believers and they're on board and just emphasizing that, hey, this intuitive eating journey is not only for my physical health but it's for my spiritual and mental and emotional health. I really appreciate your prayers in that area.

And then, you know, also again, pray for them just like you would for any other area of life where you're struggling or where they're struggling is explicitly inviting them in by asking them to pray for you. And the end even, you know, again, coming back to those specific do's, ask your partner at times to specifically pray for certain things, too, because that can be a strategic way of helping them again, you can even use that as sort of an education tool, too.

Hey, can you pray for me in this area? I'm struggling with this particular area, and that's another way that they can start reflecting and thinking about one of those principles that you're working on. So lots of different ways that you can do that. And so that would definitely be my final tip there is to incorporate that.

00:35:26:20 - 00:35:52:08

Aubrey

Oh, yes, yes. I love that. And just as we go, I know you have offered to our listeners that you will do if you do a free one hour consult for anyone who is interested or really just trying to explore. And I want you to share about where they can connect with you for that. But also can you share a little bit about what a family consult or maybe a couples consult would look like?

More Resources from Jeff Ash

00:35:52:08 - 00:36:15:13

Jeff

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. You can find me on Instagram where I'm most active, https://www.instagram.com/intuitive.eating.men/. And you can also find me at my website, which is hopedrivesme.com. And so that's where you can find that. And I would say that that would be a great place if you have a husband or father or uncle or somebody who you're trying to help understand this more.

Again, like I was saying, sometimes we're not the best one to teach and educate our spouse on something new. And so you can direct them my way and they can hear it from a dude too who's talking about it. And so they know it's not just a girl thing because I think sometimes, if bad as it sounds, some of us guys, it's just, you know, when when the only people we hear talking about it are women, we sometimes tune it out and it's not right.

But yeah, but anyway, so yeah, so that's where you can connect with me. And as far as the consultation, so yeah, the initial consultation, I do want to make sure, you know, to, even if you know that you can't work with me on an ongoing basis financially or whatever, please feel free to do that. I would like to help just get you directed in the right, you know, point you in the right direction or even just help you to understand what it is that maybe you're female your, your wife is going through or your daughter or whatever the case may be.

So but when those, those consultations and what we do is we I just ask them what it is that they're struggling with. And we talk about how intuitive eating, what the gist of what the approach is and how that can be helpful. And depending on the person, you know, we tend to look for those specific areas where we can we can touch on and address and start to help them to to recognize, hey, the way that I've been doing things now or the way that we've always done things is not addressing the root of the issue.

You know, when we attack weight loss directly we're dealing with a symptom, not the root of the issue, kind of like back pain, you know, taking pain meds for that versus actually addressing the underlying problem. So that's usually what our consultations will look like, is helping to educate briefly and understand that. And when it's with families, of course, it's getting a picture of where everyone is in the picture because often mom and dad are on a different page from each other and the kids are maybe struggling.

I had one recently where we had one kid who was a great either one kid who was picky either. And one kid who was concerned about his own weight. So we had this whole spectrum of of issues to talk about and, and address and the cool thing is, is that those of us who have been around intuitive eating a lot know that it addresses all of that.

And so that's one of the things that I definitely focus on when I'm talking with families is that, hey, look, dieting isn't for your kids, as you know. Yep. Nope. It's not it's not working for me. It's not what hasn't been working for her, intuitive eating is a new approach that will work with everyone and kind of and often that can really help get parents on board with the idea of really putting some priority on that.

00:38:59:18 - 00:39:36:15

Kasey

Mm. Yeah, that sounds like an amazing resource, so we're really excited for that. Thank you for sharing that too. And we're excited to listen to more of your podcast, Men's Intuition by Jeff Ash. Yeah. And Jeff, would you be so willing to pray for our listeners and as they go of unity and the spirit between them and their partner and their family, ultimately, if they have a family and yeah, for there to be this foundation of love and, and not, you know, not a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control.

A Prayer for Partners and the Intuitive Eating Journey

Jeff

Yeah, absolutely.

Thank you, Lord. We just thank you so much for this opportunity to come together and, and talk about intuitive eating and talk about these beautiful, wonderful bodies that you've created for us and all of the incredible ways that you've built into us to take care of these bodies.

We pray, Lord, that we wouldn't get fixated on the physical aspect, but that we would also seek to grow, spiritually grow in our relationship with you. Throughout this entire process, we pray that you would give us wisdom and the right words to say to our our partner or our spouse, our parent, whoever the case may be, that you would give us wisdom in sharing what it is that we need from them and help us to understand the best way to get that message across.

And then also give us patience, understanding, as well as we know that this is a really difficult thing to navigate for people when it's brand new to them. So we just thank you again for loving us, for sending your son to die on the cross for our sins. And it's in Jesus' name. We pray. Amen. 

Aubrey

Amen. Thank you so much, Jeff and everybody.

Until next time, rest in his grace and follow the joy.